Why older people in their 60s and 70s quietly enjoy life more than anxious tech addicted youth and why nobody wants to admit it

At 7:15 on a random Tuesday, the café next to my place is split in two.
By the window, four retirees in their late 60s are laughing over tiny cups of espresso, arguing about which sea is colder, the Atlantic or the North Sea. Their phones are on the table, screens black, forgotten.

At the back, three twenty-somethings sit hunched over laptops and glowing screens. One finger scrolls TikTok, another flicks between email and Slack, another taps through dating apps like a slot machine. Their coffee is cold. Their legs are bouncing. None of them look up.

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The noise level is the same.
The tension is not.

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Something strange is happening right under our noses.

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Why older people seem strangely… at peace

Spend one afternoon in a park and you see it.
The older people walking slowly, hands behind their backs, actually watching the sky. The younger ones speed-walking with AirPods in, staring at their phone every four steps, as if the world might disappear if they stop checking.

The people in their 60s and 70s have seen entire eras come and go.
They’ve buried parents, changed careers, raised babies, lost jobs, survived recessions and sometimes worse.
Once you’ve navigated all that, an awkward text or a delayed Amazon delivery doesn’t hit as hard.

They’re not living a perfect life.
They’re just less startled by it.

Ask them and they’ll rarely brag about being happier.
But small details betray them.

There’s the retired bus driver who now swims every morning at the same cold beach, chatting with the same three people, no waterproof smartwatch in sight.
The widowed grandmother who takes the long way home just to walk past “her” tree and notice what changed this week.
The ex-accountant who now treats the supermarket like a social club, talking to the cashier as if time isn’t running a constant race.

Meanwhile, data quietly backs up the feeling.
Large surveys across the US and Europe show a U-shaped curve of happiness: people dip in their 40s and early 50s, then climb back up as they reach their late 60s and beyond.
While younger adults report record levels of anxiety and sleep problems, many older adults report something else: calm.

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# I thought I needed more discipline but this trick made things easier

For years I believed the problem was my lack of willpower. Every time I failed to stick with a new habit or reach a goal I blamed myself for not being disciplined enough. I would start strong with exercise routines or healthy eating plans only to fall off track within weeks. The pattern repeated itself so many times that I became convinced something was fundamentally wrong with me. The truth turned out to be completely different. Discipline was never really the issue. What I actually needed was a better system that worked with my natural tendencies instead of against them. The breakthrough came when I stopped trying to force myself into rigid schedules and started using environmental design instead. Rather than relying on willpower to make good choices I began arranging my surroundings to make those choices automatic. This simple shift changed everything. Here’s what I mean by environmental design. Instead of telling myself to eat healthier I removed junk food from my house entirely. When unhealthy snacks weren’t within easy reach I naturally ate better without any internal struggle. The decision was made once when I went shopping rather than dozens of times throughout the week when my willpower was already depleted. The same principle worked for exercise. I laid out my workout clothes the night before and placed my running shoes by the door. When I woke up the visual reminder prompted action without requiring much mental effort. The friction between intention & action decreased dramatically. I applied this approach to other areas too. To read more books I kept one on my nightstand & another in my living room. To drink more water I filled a large bottle each morning and kept it visible on my desk. To reduce phone usage I charged my device in another room overnight. Each of these changes seemed small on its own but together they created momentum. The key insight was that motivation naturally follows action rather than preceding it. By making the first step incredibly easy I bypassed the need for discipline altogether. What surprised me most was how sustainable these changes became. Previous attempts at self-improvement always felt like constant battles against my own impulses. This new method felt effortless because I wasn’t fighting myself anymore. The environment did the heavy lifting while I simply followed the path of least resistance. Looking back I realize that blaming myself for lacking discipline was actually counterproductive. It created shame and frustration that made change even harder. Once I stopped viewing willpower as a character trait and started seeing it as a limited resource that could be preserved through smart design everything became clearer. The lesson here isn’t that discipline doesn’t matter at all. Sometimes you do need to push through discomfort. But relying on willpower as your primary strategy is exhausting & usually fails in the long run. Building systems that make good behaviors easy & bad behaviors difficult is far more effective. This shift in thinking has applications beyond personal habits too. At work I started batching similar tasks together to reduce decision fatigue. I created templates for recurring projects to eliminate unnecessary choices. I scheduled focused work blocks & protected them from interruptions by setting clear boundaries with colleagues. The results spoke for themselves. Productivity increased without the constant stress of trying to force myself to concentrate. Projects moved forward steadily because the system supported progress rather than depending on daily motivation levels. The same principles apply to relationships & social commitments. Instead of hoping I would remember to stay in touch with friends I set recurring calendar reminders. Rather than waiting for inspiration to plan quality time with family I blocked out specific evenings each week. These simple structures ensured important things happened consistently. What makes this approach so powerful is its universality. Whether you want to learn a new skill or save money or improve your health the strategy remains the same. Identify the behavior you want & then engineer your environment to make that behavior the default option. Start by examining your current environment honestly. What cues are triggering unwanted behaviors? What obstacles are preventing desired ones? Sometimes the answers are obvious once you look for them. The bag of chips on the counter. The guitar buried in the closet. The TV positioned as the focal point of your living room. Make one small change and observe what happens. You don’t need to overhaul your entire life at once. In fact trying to change too much simultaneously usually backfires. Pick the easiest modification that will have a meaningful impact & implement it today. As that change becomes normal add another. Build gradually and let the compound effects accumulate over time. This patient approach might seem slow compared to dramatic transformation promises but it actually produces lasting results. The beauty of this method is that it works regardless of how you feel on any given day. Motivation fluctuates naturally & that’s perfectly fine. When your environment supports your goals you make progress even when enthusiasm is low. The system carries you forward during the inevitable rough patches. I wish someone had explained this to me years earlier. It would have saved so much unnecessary struggle and self-criticism. But perhaps the lesson needed to come through experience to really sink in. Now when I see others beating themselves up for lacking discipline I share what I learned. You probably don’t need more willpower. You need better systems. Design your environment intentionally and watch how much easier everything becomes. The path to lasting change isn’t about becoming a different person. It’s about creating conditions where your desired behaviors happen naturally.

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There’s a simple, unglamorous reason.
By the time you hit 65, you’ve had enough proof that life is short and attention is finite.

So priorities change.
Older people tend to invest their time where returns are most reliable: long friendships, familiar routines, small rituals that anchor the day. They’re less seduced by the endless buffet of online “possibilities” and more drawn to the plate right in front of them.

They also live with fewer illusions.
No one is promising them that a new app, a new job, or a new message will “change everything”.
Tech-addicted youth, on the other hand, are constantly nudged to believe the next notification might be the big one.

That’s a recipe for chronic low-level panic.

The quiet skills older people use (and younger people secretly crave)

Watch an older person use their phone on a bench.
They look at it, do one or two things, then put it away and go back to the pigeons, the view, the person next to them.

There’s a kind of deliberate slowness there.
Not because they don’t understand technology, but because they refuse to let it occupy every available second.

This is one of their hidden skills: single-tasking.
Answering messages in batches. Reading the news once or twice a day, not every seven minutes.
When they’re talking to someone, they actually let the silence stretch instead of grabbing their phone to fill it.
Tiny gestures, big difference.

Younger people like to joke that “boomers are bad with tech”.
Sometimes that’s true, sometimes it’s just a lazy stereotype.

What’s really happening is more nuanced.
Many older adults simply haven’t internalised the rule that you must be reachable 24/7. They ignore group chats for hours and genuinely forget their phone in another room.

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We’ve all been there, that moment when you tell yourself you’ll just “quickly check” Instagram and look up 40 minutes later with a slightly hollow feeling behind your eyes.
They have that moment less often.
Partly because their social lives aren’t built entirely on platforms, and partly because their identity doesn’t hinge on likes, views, and read receipts.

That “bad with tech” label can hide a quiet kind of freedom.

There’s another layer nobody loves to talk about.
Perspective.

When you’ve watched friends die too young, cared for a sick partner, or seen your own body rebel, your standards for a “good day” shift.
Sun on your face, a walk without pain, a phone call from someone you love: that suddenly counts as a win.

Younger, hyper-connected adults may have ten times more stimulation, but they’re also carrying ten times more mental tabs: climate dread, financial anxiety, productivity pressure, comparison with every polished stranger on the internet.
Older people still worry, of course.

But they’ve had decades to separate what can be controlled from what can only be endured.
*That’s not sexy, but it’s incredibly stabilising.*

“Turning 70 didn’t make me happier,” a retired teacher in Lyon told me. “It just made me tired of pretending I wasn’t allowed to rest. Once I dropped that, life felt lighter.”

Here’s the part that stings for the younger generations: a lot of this peace comes from tiny, unheroic habits anyone could copy.
Things like:

  • Leaving the phone in another room during meals
  • Walking the same route every day and actually looking around
  • Telling people, “I’ll answer messages in the evening” and sticking to it
  • Saying no to social events that feel wrong, even if there are great photo opportunities
  • Keeping one or two close friends instead of juggling twenty half-friendships

Let’s be honest: nobody really does this every single day.
But many older people do it often enough that their baseline anxiety softens.

Young adults who spend too much time with technology are missing something important. They do not need another meditation app. What they really need is to keep some parts of their day free from digital devices and screens.

Why nobody wants to admit the elders might be onto something

Admitting that people in their 60s and 70s are quietly enjoying life more touches a nerve.
We’re sold a story that youth is the peak, the golden age where everything is possible and joy is automatic if you just “optimize” enough.

So if the supposedly “outdated” generation is actually more at ease, what does that say about our glorious, ultra-connected present?
It suggests we might have built an environment that’s thrilling, yes, but also constantly agitating.

That’s hard to face when you’ve poured your whole identity into being online, being responsive, being always-on.
No one wants to discover the exit door is as simple as: log off, walk slower, call your aunt.

There’s also a quiet economic reason.
Anxious, tech-addicted youth are profitable.

Every spike of insecurity can be softened with a subscription, a new gadget, a new feed.
Every spare minute can be “monetised” by capturing your attention and selling it to someone else.
The last thing this system wants is a large group of people who are content with a walk, a cheap coffee, and a good conversation.

Older adults, especially retirees, often spend less on the dopamine economy.
They’ve seen trends come and go, and they know that the thrill of the upgrade fades faster than the interest payments.
That frugality translates, quite directly, into a quieter mind.

The hardest part is that generational roles have flipped.
Younger people are supposed to be the explorers, the pioneers, the ones who “get it”.

Yet more and more, it’s the grandparents who are modelling digital boundaries, slow mornings, and face-to-face talk without background noise.
That’s awkward to admit when you’re the one teaching them how to use a smartphone.

And still, the contrast grows.
While a 23-year-old juggles three side hustles and five social platforms, a 73-year-old is sitting on a bench, watching the same street they’ve crossed a thousand times, and somehow finding a new detail to enjoy.

The question isn’t who is right.
The question is: which life actually feels livable from the inside?

What if the “good life” is less online than we think?

The more you look, the more the pattern repeats.
Older people aren’t necessarily healthier, richer, or less lonely.
Yet many of them radiate a kind of grounded okay-ness that so many younger adults are desperate to buy, copy, or hack.

This doesn’t mean throwing your phone in a lake or pretending technology is evil.
It does mean asking uncomfortable questions.
When do you actually feel most alive: when a post goes semi-viral, or when you’re laughing with someone who has known you for 20 years?

Why does a 70-year-old with a flip phone sometimes look more relaxed than a 27-year-old with the newest iPhone and three wellness apps?
And what would happen if younger people started borrowing not just their grandparents’ playlists or vintage clothes, but their slower habits, their narrower circles, their stubborn refusal to be constantly reachable?

Maybe the real cultural taboo isn’t aging.
Maybe it’s admitting that some of the people we dismiss as “out of touch” actually figured out something we’re still chasing: how to live a day that doesn’t feel like a never-ending notification.

The next time you see an older person sitting quietly on a bench, not scrolling, not “optimising”, just existing, you could treat that as a glitch.
Or as a live demo of a different way to be modern.

What if in a few decades the thing we envy most will not be youth itself but rather the generation that figured out how to grow old without giving every free moment of attention to a screen? The question feels more urgent now than it did even five years ago. We are living through a strange experiment where an entire society has agreed to carry devices that demand constant interaction. These devices promise connection but often deliver something closer to distraction. They offer information but frequently provide anxiety instead. Growing old used to mean accumulating wisdom through direct experience with the world. It meant long conversations without interruptions. It meant boredom that eventually sparked creativity. It meant paying attention to the people in front of you rather than the notifications in your pocket. Today we are raising children who have never known a world without smartphones. We are becoming adults who cannot remember the last time we sat through dinner without checking our phones. We are turning into elderly people who might spend their final years scrolling through content instead of reflecting on memories. The generation that learns to resist this pull will possess something rare. They will have the ability to be present. They will know how to sit with their thoughts without reaching for digital comfort. They will understand that real connection requires sustained attention rather than quick reactions to messages. This is not about rejecting technology entirely. It is about recognizing that our relationship with screens has become unbalanced. We have allowed these tools to become masters rather than servants. We have permitted them to colonize our attention in ways we never consciously chose. The people who figure out how to grow old with their attention intact will have lived fuller lives. They will have deeper relationships because they were actually present for them. They will have richer memories because they were paying attention when those memories were being formed. They will have more wisdom because they spent time thinking rather than consuming. Perhaps the real luxury of the future will not be expensive products or exclusive experiences. It might simply be the ability to control where your attention goes. The capacity to choose presence over distraction. The skill of being fully alive in your own life rather than half-present in dozens of digital spaces simultaneously. We might look back at this era and wonder how we let it happen. How we allowed our most precious resource to be harvested by algorithms designed to keep us scrolling. How we traded the texture of real life for the smooth surface of screens. The generation that breaks free from this pattern will not just be envied. They will be the ones who actually lived.

Key point Detail Value for the reader
Older adults often feel calmer Life experience and perspective lower the emotional weight of small daily stressors Helps you reframe your own problems and reduce overreaction to minor events
They use tech more selectively Single-tasking, limited notifications, and offline routines are common Gives concrete habits you can copy to reduce digital anxiety
Small analog rituals matter Walks, in-person chats, and stable routines quietly protect mental health Encourages you to build simple, low-cost habits that bring real calm

FAQ:

  • Why do people in their 60s and 70s often seem less anxious?They’ve already faced many major life events, so everyday problems feel less catastrophic. Their priorities are clearer, and they’re less hooked on constant online comparison.
  • Are older people really happier, or just saying they are?Large surveys consistently show a rise in life satisfaction after the mid-50s. It’s not that everything is perfect, but many report more calm, acceptance, and moments of simple pleasure.
  • Is technology the main reason younger people are so stressed?Not the only one, but it amplifies pressure. Social media, work apps, and news alerts keep the nervous system on edge in a way many older people avoid, simply by using tech less intensely.
  • Can younger people adopt “older” habits without giving up modern life?Yes. Things like phone-free meals, regular walks, and answering messages in set windows fit easily into most schedules and quickly lower mental noise.
  • What’s one small change I could try this week?Pick one daily activity — breakfast, your commute, or your evening walk — and do it completely screen-free for seven days. Notice how your mood and sense of time shift.
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Author: Clara

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